Death by laughter…

NOTE: I was sprinkling in the strange, the lid popped off. Don’t tell anyone, I’m pretending I did it on purpose. Chef’s Special.

“Where do we come from?”

The strange boy pulled his eyes from the fire to study his curious companion.

The other boy looked away, quickly. It almost seemed like the fire had stayed in his eyes…

That’s not possible. Boys don’t carry fire in their eyes. Not even strange ones.

The sticks crackled.

“Well,” the strange boy spoke slowly, “when a man and a woman love each other…”

“Whoa whoa whoa. No no I mean like where… what land do we come from.”

The strange boy was off his seat and rolling on the ground.

He came up wheezing “Oh man, my asthma. I can’t… that was…” hack. cough. “That is… so funny. You’re trying to kill me!”

Normally he would run when the ‘I asked another stupid question’ feeling came, and hide until his face shaded from prickly pear pink back to desert sands whiteish. Two things held him this time. First, his friend might die of laughter at any moment, and he had never seen anyone die, of laughter. Second… well, you know. So he grimaced a grin and pressed on.

“I meant where do we come from physically…”

“Physically?” Giggles were bouncing his curls again.

“Can we just converse like adults please?”

“You mean you want an adult conversation?” More life-threatening laughs.

“I mean, I mean… look, there are twigs stuck in your hair that look like antennae and it’s super distracting me.”

“You mean ‘geographically.’”

“Yeah. But also before that, like where did we all originally come from?”

“Oooh. You mean… ‘in the beginning.’”

“You know it’s creepy when you do that with your hands… but yeah. In the beginning.”

“Oh man this is such a good story, one of the best. Actually can’t believe I haven’t told it yet. So in the beginning…”

“Hey we need more sticks.”

“Awesome! We can…”

“Don’t say it.”

“…walk-n-talk. It just sounds fun. Walk-n-talk. Walk-n-talk. Say it with me. Walk-n-talk. Hey, wait for me!”

“Okay, so in the beginning was…”

The desert woods drank his drifting away voice while the fire whimpered…

…and then played dead.

A poker in your chest…

He pinched a glowing coal from the fire, studying it closely. Then he popped it in his mouth and swallowed.

Looking around again, the strange boy slid back into his sleeping bag.

“I must have been dreaming.” the cactus boy stared at the glowing horizon, thinking about what he had seen.

The yellow yolks on the fire eyed him and the frying butter cackled.

“It was pretty dark last night, maybe it just looked like he ate the fire…” he thought.

“Hey we gonna eat those eggs or wear ‘em for shoes?”

Cactus boy spun and yanked the pan from the coals. “Rats.”

“Well done!” strange boy was snorting giggles. “My favorite, seriously. I love everything ‘well done.’”

“How do you make our fires?” cactus boy asked, lacing his boots.

“Huh?”

“The fire. You always make the fire but I’ve never seen you do it.”

The strange boy looked through a squint for a long second.

“Did you see something?”

“No.” cactus boy locked eyes to really sell the lie, and stepping in a hole on the trail, he fell hard.

“So, why… how… you swallow the fire?”

Strange boy stood and lifted his shirt.

Cactus boy was glad he was already sitting.

Hot light glistened from the center of his chest.

“Where I come from, it is never night and fire floods the sky. But here in your world we each have to carry the Flame, inside, through the night.”

“Wow. I mean that’s… wow… does it hurt?” cactus boy also saw scars tracing the glow.

Strange boy smiled, and for the first time, seemed tired.

“Why don’t you just put it out during the day and then restart it when you need it, like with matches or something?”

His eyes looked like lightning and his voice came like thunder… but gentler, like thunder far off.

“This was kindled in Death’s Forge, it can never die. It was given to me, special, for our journey. If anyone tries to put it out…”

Stoke the fire in your heart through the night, though it burns.
Return it to the Sun, in the morning; well done.
Morning always comes.

Cliff diving, on fire…

“I think I found my calling.”

“Is it saying random things?”

The strange boy tossed his head back and bunches of bluebirds burst from the tree to speckle the yawning sky.

“That was a good one. You got me.”

Flinty steel in his eyes betrayed the glimmer playing around his mouth.

Whatever he said next was likely to set something on fire.

“Love is like cliff diving.

“On a trail you might turn back at anytime. You might see another trail more fair, more appealing and turn down there.

“On a path you might find great pleasure in each whispering fork you pass knowing your way is only yours, to split or not to split.

“Truly you may follow your heart to top of any mountain but the truest way to the bottom of your self is found when your feet leave the ledge.

“There are no off ramps in cliff diving.

“No take backs, no tap outs.

“After the toe tip it’s all out for the all in.”

I don’t know how I know that.

But… I do.

Love leaves the overlook of heaven without any wings.
Fallen to the bottom of my shattered shoreline.
Collided at the crossroads of eternity.

Perfectly laid beneath the waves of my curse.

Until bursting forth the Island rises.
Even salty death gives way to molten Love.
Come to the Island, oh my soul, and be melted.

Naked fire in the sky…

“I see bright beams begin to feather the air, fluttering and floating and tickling the stars to death.

One by one they give their twinkling rays to the gaze of the one testing the horizon.

His warm fingers of light find the cold locks of night… the door to the day is here.

There’s certainly something sacred in the sun’s gentle way.

Warblers wait rooted in the treetops, for that moment.

Seeds stay their wrestling in the earth, in that moment.

Even time trembles and takes a breath at that threshold moment.

I’ve always wondered why he hesitates.  What is he waiting for?  

Maybe waiting for us to feel the waiting…

Then it’s crossing over and riding on the clouds, peeling back the robes of night and washing clear the cold black blight.

Naked fire fills the sky and the full glory is harsh light.

The beauty in all the earth is seen as she newly is.  As she truly is…”

They sat and stared awhile, wearing the heavy light.

“I’m glad you asked me that.”  said the strange boy.
“What do you see in a sunrise?”

Walking on moonbeams…

Why is he always telling stories?

Why doesn’t he just say what he means?

A full moon smile rose on the strange boy’s cheeks.

“Here’s a good one. Once, dad fired one of our orchard managers.”

“Okay. What happened?”

“Before he cleaned out his desk, the manager called a meeting with all the orchard people.”

“No, I mean why did he get fired?”

“And at this meeting he says “Alright everyone, I’m feeling generous today. Everyone who owes us anything, get our your bills, mark them down by half. I’ll sign off.” Just like that he cut all their debts in half, on his last day!”

“What!? He was already fired. He can’t do that, right?“

“He figured his little display of generosity might win him some new friends. It worked too. They loved him for it. He couch-surfed with some of them until he found steady work again.”

“Well, what did your dad do, wasn’t he mad?”

“Hah, no way! He almost rehired him.”

“But the guy cheated! He basically gave away your dad’s money!”

A laughing stream broke their path.

“Here, I know the way across. Watch where I put my feet.”

“You still didn’t tell me why he got fired.”

“Oh. I guess he got afraid. He got stingy with the orchard, anyhow.”

On the other side, the strange boy drew some numbers in the dust.

“How much is $1,000 worth? Or $10,000? Or $10 million?”
“How long does any wealth last?”
He looked up and the sun filled his eyes.
“How much is a friendship worth?”
“How long does a friendship last?”

Daylight was courting the horizon now.
The confident path sped their steps.

“Still, I don’t think your dad should let people just give away his stuff.”

“If you owned all the stars, how many would you give away?”
“Can you waste something that never runs out?”

Something in his chest sprung.

“It’s like I always say, little brother…
…the only way to lose your life is to try to save it.”

Moonbeams are quite soft underfoot, you know.
So they went on silently, for a while.

The only way to lose everything?

“So what else does your daddy do?”

The strange boy smiled.
“I remember this one time he painted a sunset, all purple and orange, using only his toes. And he laughed the whole time.“

The evening crickets chortled too, as the boys walked along.

“So he just gives apples away? For free?”

“Yup. He gives to everyone. Not just apples, all kinds of fruits.“

They passed a blue-bellied owl spreading his wings to catch a moon tan.

“One of my favorite stories is about a boy who grew up with nothing. Daddy gave him a whole kingdom.” The strange boy giggled. “He made every mistake you can think of. He didn’t always follow the rules. He didn’t always think things through. But he loved Daddy. A lot. One time he was so happy about knowing our Daddy that he danced around in his underwear. In the street. True story. When he came home to live with us, everyone danced in the streets.”

“Another cool story is about a boy who was born to trouble. Daddy gave him a clever mind and big ambitions. This boy messed it up and down 40 years of his life. But he always loved Daddy. We sure rang the bells when he came home.”

They halted to watch a few tears of fire fall across the face of the sky.

“Tell me another… please.“

“One boy was especially bright. Daddy gave him royal position and wealth. He kept it pretty well. He tried to get all he could and he was careful to keep everything he had. When he came here to live with us, the sparkle that once lived in his eye was gone. He had saved a lot, but he hadn’t loved anyone.”

“What happened to him?”

The strange boy breathed.
“He said ‘I thought you were a hard master so I saved everything you gave me! Here, I bring it all to you!’”
“Then Daddy said to him ‘Yes, you have returned it all. You’ve made it as though I never gave it.’”

And a tear of fire fell.

“If I am fear to you then fear I am to you.”
“If I am love to you then love I am to you. “

The way you receive a gift, defines it.

2018 packed her last bag this week.
I asked her to leave me with a bit of her wisdom.

Here’s what she said. I thought you might like it…

If life is a game, we’re playing with our hearts and fear is our only adversary.

Fear shows up in a sharp suit with a pretty checklist.
Fear is reasonable.
Fear works.

For a while.

Eventually fear has me stalled, sidelined, sidetracked, derailed, detached, bench warming, Netflix chilling, grounded, high and dry, pigeon holed, on the shelf, on ice… asleep.

No one has ever been paralyzed by love…

What if not playing is the only real way to lose?

Holding the sun in your hand…

He was born under the shadow of a cactus.  

He was born walking.

Independent from birth, like all desert creatures.

Desert life is perfect.  Perfectly fair.  You reap what you sow.

Cactus cultivation is primary business in the desert.

Drink cactus to feel quenched.  Eat cactus to feel stuffed.

Life is full for desert people.

One day while walking and plucking thorns from his lips, he saw a strange boy perched on a fence post.

He had never seen a fence post in this spot before.

This boy was eating a strange fruit.

It looked like a sunset in his hand.

Pink and orange and yellow all at the same time.

Juice melted into his fingers, pooled in his palm and made tiny streams down his dusty arm.

“Is that…. an apple?”

He stepped closer.

Just saying the word made his mouth water and run dry.

An old traveler spoke of apples once.

All the cactus people said the old man was crazy.

“Yup!  Want one?”

Reaching into his bag, the strange boy presented another pink fiery apple.

Streams of apple juice were dried on both of their arms when the sunlight began to swoon.

“Where do you get the apples?”

“From my dad.”

“What’s a ‘dad’?”

When the strange boy smiled it looked like the moon was in his mouth.

“Come with me.  I’ll show ya.”